today i was feeling PISSY AS ALL HELL after work because blah blah everything’s a nightmare blah blah. so i was like, what’s something that real people do after a trying day that’s not just “refresh tumblr until something is either delightful or infuriating enough to elicit an emotional response”? like, idk go for a walk? somewhere nice?
i mean, i have no idea, but i decided to try it out and go to a nature center and have myself a nice lil:
NATURE: FOUR OUT OF FIVE STARS
- shitty wi-fi
- too many mosquitos, like, an unnecessary amount of mosquitos
- can’t stop walking because of the mosquitos because it just gives them a stable surface to land on
- sweating on your buttcheeks because you’re very out of shape but can’t stop walking because of the mosquitos
- when you go into nature, sometimes you feel like, am i doing it right? do i just, like… walk? am i appreciating it right? am i snapchatting it too much? am i not snapchatting it ENOUGH?
- weird sense of deja vu because you just remembered this is the nature center you went to day camp at when you were 8, and there used to be a buffalo and a bald eagle there, but they got sick and died, and you tried to kiss a boy in one of the pavilions by the graveyard, except he pushed you away, and now you can’t even find that particular pavilion to go visit, which doesn’t even matter except suddenly it feels very insulting (BUT THAT MIGHT BE SITUATION SPECIFIC)
- not your house or your couch
- sounds in it are nice if initially unsettling
- feels like you’re doing something because, weirdly enough, you are
- while you’re trotting along and sweating and swatting at bugs and staving off existential despair and reminiscing about past rejections and also starting to compose this shitty post in your head, which at that point only amounted to “SHITTY WIFI, TOO MANY BUGS,” you look up and all of a sudden:
- this deer is like three feet away looking at you, like, DEADASS in the eyes, very knowingly
- the deer doesn’t give a shit that you’re there
- you hang out and make weird eye contact with the deer for a while, even though the mosquitos are biting, because like, this feels like a MOMENT
- then the deer wanders away
- and you realize your shitty glib “nature sux” post isn’t gonna cut it because actually it’s pretty cool and weirdly you do feel a lot better
- plus then you get to instagram the deer
Can I review a review because this gets six out of five stars
Ok, so I don’t know how I ended up here and woah!
And also they made this
There’s even a granny!
(there’s a guy who looks like Hulk btw)
and there are
THEY MADE THOR
And there’s also this which made me laugh
this is the coolest shit b.